lesson learned #2

My then-wife asked that we not talk negatively about each other. I foolishly agreed. The problems, which I didn’t realize until far too late, were that 1)  it prevented me from talking about how I was feeling and made me feel isolated, and 2) I felt it prevented me from giving anything other than the most generic answers when people asked why we were getting divorced.

If I could go back and change things, I would make sure I didn’t agree to anything without sleeping on it.  Or after agreeing to it, I would have talked to her about how it wasn’t reasonable to expect that of each other.

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2 thoughts on “lesson learned #2

  1. How you feel inside and the reasons you are divorced are not talking about ‘her’ per say so I don’t see the problem. I mean it’s not like you aren’t mature enough to talk about the other two things without defaming her, am I right?? Unless you’re an immature jerk, which from what I’ve read on here, I can’t imagine…

  2. The problem is some of the reasons for the divorce are related to who we are as people. And things were just too raw for me to think that I could keep to “I feel” kind of statements if I really started talking to people.
    Plus I interpreted “don’t talk negatively” to not be to the level of defaming.

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